I know the world’s unconsciousness can ask our hand in “being” something. Someone special. Evolved. Healed. Important. But there is another consciousness, one that asks us to open ourselves through surrender and the innate power that comes from being humble. Would you care to meet me here?
My prayers are a home for my breath, a space for my mind. They are invitations into expanding beyond all that I want to hold on to in order to feel safe or loved. Have you ever used prayer in this way? If so, I wonder if the ones I have uttered so many times will resonate for you…
–Please help me see myself as you see me
-Help me let go
-Open my heart Spirit, open my heart
-Show me the truth
-Make me stronger
-Show me the way
And while these utterances may appear to be weak from the lens of the ego, to the soul they are the invitations of a lifetime. How often, when things are really tough, do we want to disconnect? I know I do. I seem to vacillate between wanting to throw myself at my altar in the utmost purity, to having a glass of wine. In fact, I tried to combine a glass of wine and chanting once. Turns out it is a terrible combination. You don’t get to enjoy the wine and you cannot connect to God, but I digress.
Back to praying!
Our prayers form this incredible paradoxical pathway. It seems the smaller and more receptive we become, the more energy can flow through us. In this process, we become much more powerful. There is nothing more beautiful to me than the place inside that is purely devotional. The nights where the prayers are so pure and filled with longing, our tears stream out of the infinite desire we have to raise our consciousness.
There are no mistakes. In the most intense times of my life, some part of me eventually gives way. It says to God, “I give up. Even here, even in this, I am handing myself to You. Help.” Here, the heart has no choice but to surrender and be led. And if Grace is on our side, the opening remains.
In fact, my spiritual teacher from India says that when we cry out to God with total innocence, we cannot be refused. She says the tears offered from a sincere heart cannot be ignored. There is such yearning to be met in Love, that Love has to come. I believe this with all of me. I believe our open hearts can move mountains. And I also know, from experience, that sometimes it is instantaneous, and sometimes we have to wait months or even years for those prayers to bear fruit.
If that level of faith and patience doesn’t make us all warriors, I don’t know what does.
Spiritual maturity comes over time. As we age in human years, we have our past experiences to draw from. We learn that our prayers are heard and answered as they are meant to be. Sometimes the answer is a simple “No,” or “Not yet.” And sometimes we manifest our dreams within the next twenty-four hours. It really isn’t fully up to us. Yes, we are players in our lives. Powerful players, at that. But we are not the end-all-be-all. We do not beat our hearts. We do not create the oxygen that permeates our lungs. Being intelligent about where our power and the Divine meet is pure gold. It tells us what is our part and what is not. When we know the rules, we know how to show up.
And so, with that, I would like to offer you one final prayer. It simply reads:
Help me never leave, even when I think I know the way…
You see, our human clarity comes with limited perception. These words are coming from the mouth of a woman whose clarity sits like a bird perched on a branch. I see quite well. What I feel and sense is not something I shy away from. I may have my insecurities, but my intuition is not one of them. And so with that knowledge, I have come to understand that during long, difficult periods of time, it becomes easier to want to turn away. To run. To do it our way. But the lesson will remain there for us to move through, and so the strong turn toward God instead of away. This is precisely why the path of prayer can be the path of a warrior.
I imagine we all move in and out of that. None of us are saints, nor are we meant to be. But having the willingness to use our prayers as a pathway back to our heart takes dedication and true Love. So if this is you, I see you. I honor you. I get you. And if this is new to you, welcome my friend. Welcome to a simple and profound offering that can become second nature.
If you are open to it, I would love to hear what you are praying for. What your heart is asking for. Feel free to shoot me an email box to share!
lesley@thewayofawoman.com
Blessings!
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